About Me

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No Fixed Abode, Home Counties, United Kingdom
I’m a 60-year-old Aspergic gardening CAD-Monkey. Sardonic, cynical and with the political leanings of a social reformer, I’m also a toy and model figure collector, particularly interested in the history of plastics and plastic toys. Other interests are history, current affairs, modern art, and architecture, gardening and natural history. I love plain chocolate, fireworks and trees, but I don’t hug them, I do hug kittens. I hate ignorance, when it can be avoided, so I hate the 'educational' establishment and pity the millions they’ve failed with teaching-to-test and rote 'learning' and I hate the short-sighted stupidity of the entire ruling/industrial elite, with their planet destroying fascism and added “buy-one-get-one-free”. Likewise, I also have no time for fools and little time for the false crap we're all supposed to pretend we haven't noticed, or the games we're supposed to play. I will 'bite the hand that feeds', to remind it why it feeds.

Thursday, November 29, 2018

I is for It's a Local Blog for Local People!

All day! And I didn't burn the bodies officer!

Seriously, there are several less than toy-soldier related posts today; all centered on the 'teeming metropolis' of Fleet in Hampshire, but all with a cultural theme/element or some figural connection which lead me to take the pictures I'm now offloading on your unsuspecting ass!

We're starting with Fleet BID's follow-up to last Christmas's nutcrackers, with a summer season of large fibre-glass animal mouldings which were liberally chained-up round town to encourage people into the town when they wanted to go to the beach - or just melt where they lay!

Appearing over the weekend of the 21st/22nd of July, ready for the 23rd, I found this one first, and I recon it's the best, but if you're still reading you're welcome to disagree with me as we go down the page . . . it's a giant hippopotamus!

Placed behind a bench (to make climbing on it all the easier) it had a sign saying "Please do not sit on the animals"! That's the risk-assessor wonks at the town-hall for you; pathetic.

Another three hundred yards and I encountered King Kong's little brother! Scale's totally out with the hippo', and this one is clearly designed to have two children sit on him at once (and over the five or so weeks many did), one on his left knee, the other in his right hand; despite another of the idiot-signs.

Realising 'the game was afoot', I crossed the road and went into the mall, reasoning there was bound to be one or two in there - missing the parrots (four doors down) completely!

What we call the 'glass menagerie' anyway (Fleet's 'Mall') had a most disappointing thing pretending to be an elephant and called 'Elephant', showing no clear signs of Asian or African heritage/breed and a rather too-pink colour, even as a 'baby' elephant it's not very good . . . but ride-able!

Out the other end of the mall and back across the road I found this chap near the Library, he's supposed to be a grizzly, but looks quite amiable to me, and he - obviously - has the same seating arrangements for little people as the gorilla. 2nd best!

Nearby and almost opposite the Library I found a fine lion with a mane that was about as good as you can get with boat-building technology! I like the whiskers too!

I popped into the Town Hall to ask what was going on, and they said "Nothing to do with us, but they're fun aren't they, I've seen a Zebra in the Library and a big monkey by the traffic lights!", and sure-enough I found this chap hiding from the carpet-men round the back by the stage-entrance.

The 'big monkey' turned out to be a Mandrill, but he was behind a highly-reflective window and I never got a good shot of him, despite going back a few times!

The same was true of the parrots, which I found on the way back through town that evening. Very well done, possibly resin rather the fibre-glass, the deatil was finer and the painting, although formulaic was very effective - they would look good in a garden, say; half-hidden in a rhododendron?

After the refit in the café, the Zebra moseyed-on through to the front of the building so he could be seen from the car-park!

Meanwhile, the national press had an identical gorilla causing all sorts of upset hundreds of miles away . . . with his 'bare' arse and beady-eyes! I wouldn't call it a 'life-like' replica though, it's three times the size of the biggest gorilla ever known - I'll bet; they are big, but not that big!

Obviously these things can be hired for events or corporate 'stuff' and somewhere there's a warehouse or two full of 'em! I noticed the other day Basingrad has the nutcrackers, with new names - don't worry I won't subject you to them again this year . . . I've giant jelly-babies and woolly-mice lined-up instead!

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