Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King’s horses
And all the King’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty together again. ♪
The second 'Dumpty doesn't really scan and is usually omitted? It's no wonder he fell off the wall it's hardly substantial upon investigation, and he must be hideously top-heavy, if you don't diet - stay near the ground, s'my advice!
Humpty came with no retainers and all the King's horses and all the King's men (such as there were; three or four?) were detained in the Disney Palace/Babes in Toyland sets! Which may be why the original reassembly failed, they never actually turned-up?
And can't tell where to find them;
Leave them alone, and they'll come home,
Wagging their tails behind them. ♪
Slightly different from the version I learned as a kid;
And doesn't know where to find them;
Leave them alone, and they'll come home,
Dragging their tails behind them.
While some sources have 'bringing' their tails behind them.
The sheep she comes with is different from Contrary Mary's, and also differs from the two or three in the Miniature Masterpiece farm sets, but both (Bo's and Mary's) are realistic sculpts and fit-in well with the 'serious' set's animals!
Jack's poor mother raised a dreadful row.
And threw the magic beans out on the ground.
Next morning they say a sight to astound,
An enormous beanstalk reaching up to the sky.
Jack climbed up, up to the top and found nearby
A deserted stone castle with a roomful of gold.
He was filling his pockets when his blood ran cold.
Through the door crashed a Giant waving a knife,
And gnashing his teeth. Jack ran for his life.
He slid back down the great vine; took his axe from the wall
And chopped down that beanstalk . . . Giant and all.
This must be a Marx authored poem, as the original Jack and the Beastalk is a longer tale, I've broken it in a couple of places and jigged a bit of punctuation. As I say, the Giant's in storage somewhere, but the treat here is the Jack figure, hanging out of a little plastic beanstalk!
I will here just recommend the Jim Henson modern remake, as I think it's a little gem of a movie, including both the crimes of the original Jack and the redemption of his descendant in restoring things to the Giants, with a bit of help from the Giants of course!
But, there is also a poetical version by Roald Dhal, which is sublime . . .
Go out and find some wealthy bloke
Who’ll buy our cow. Just say she’s sound
And worth at least a hundred pound.
But don’t you dare to let him know
That she’s as old as billy-o.”
Jack led the old brown cow away,
And came back later in the day,
And said, “Oh, Mumsie dear, guess what
Your clever little boy has got.
I got, I really don’t know how,
A super trade-in for our cow.”
The mother said, “You little creep,
I’ll bet you sold her much too cheap.”
When Jack produced one lousy bean,
His startled mother, turning green,
Leaped high up in the air and cried,
“I’m absolutely stupefied!
You crazy boy! D’you really mean
You sold our Daisy for a bean?”
She snatched the bean. She yelled, “You chump!”
And flung it on the rubbish dump.
Then summoning up all her power,
She beat the boy for half an hour,
Using (and nothing could be meaner)
The handle of a vacuum cleaner.
At ten p.m. or thereabout,
The little bean began to sprout.
By morning it had grown so tall
You couldn’t see the top at all.
Young Jack cried, “Mum, admit it now!
It’s better than a rotten cow!”
The mother said, “You lunatic!
Where are the beans that I can pick?
There’s not one bean! It’s bare as bare!”
“No, no!” cried Jack. “You look up there!
Look very high and you’ll behold
Each single leaf is solid gold!”
By gollikins, the boy was right!
Now, glistening in the morning light,
The mother actually perceives
A mass of lovely golden leaves!
She yells out loud, “My sainted souls!
I’ll sell the Mini, buy a Rolls!
Don’t stand and gape, you little clot!
Get up there quick and grab the lot!”
Jack was nimble, Jack was keen.
He scrambled up the mighty bean.
Up up he went without a stop.
But just as he was near the top,
A ghastly frightening thing occurred ---
Not far above his head he heard
A big deep voice, a rumbling thing
That made the very heavens ring.
It shouted loud, “FEE FI FO FUM
I SMELL THE BLOOD OF AN ENGLISHMAN!”
Jack was frightened, Jack was quick,
And down he climbed in half a tick.
“Oh Mum!” he gasped. “Believe you me
There’s something nasty up our tree!
I saw him, Mum! My gizzard froze!
A Giant with a clever nose!”
“A clever nose?” his mother hissed.
“You must be going round the twist!”
“He smelled me out, I swear it, Mum!
He said he smelled an Englishman!”
The mother said, “And well he might!
I’ve told you every single night
To take a bath because you stink!”
Jack answered, “Well, if you’re so clean
Why don’t you climb the crazy bean?”
The mother cried, “By gad, I will!
There’s life within the old dog still!”
She hitched her skirts above her knee
And disappeared right up the tree.
Now would the Giant smell his mum?
Jack listened for the FEE-FO-FUM.
He gazed aloft. He wondered when
The dreaded words would come ... And then,
From somewhere high above the ground
There came a frightful crunching sound.
He heard the Giant mutter twice,
“By gosh, that tasted very nice.
Although,” (and this in grumpy tones),
“I wish there weren’t so many bones.”
“By Christopher!” Jack cried. “By gum!
The Giant’s eaten up my mum!
He smelled her out! She’s in his belly!
I had a hunch that she was smelly.”
Jack stood there gazing longingly
Upon the huge and golden tree.
He murmured softly, “Golly-gosh
I guess I’ll have to take a wash
If I am going to climb this tree
Without the Giant smelling me.
In fact, a bath’s my only hope ...”
He rushed indoors and grabbed the soap.
He scrubbed his body everywhere.
He even washed and rinsed his hair.
He did his teeth, he blew his nose
And went out smelling like a rose.
Once more he climbed the mighty bean.
The Giant sat there, gross, obscene
Muttering through his vicious teeth
(While Jack sat tensely just beneath),
Muttering loud, “FEE FI FO FUM,
RIGHT NOW I CAN’T SMELL ANYONE.”
Jack waited till the Giant slept,
Then out along the boughs he crept
And gathered so much gold, I swear
He was an instant millionaire.
“A bath,” he said, “does seem to pay.
I’m going to have one every day.”
Going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pieman,
"Let me taste your wares."
To Simple Simon said the pieman,
"Show me first your penny."
Says Simple Simon to the pieman,
”Indeed I haven't any.”
There are other verses which can be found about, the Wikipedia one is free and uses 'said' instead of Marx's 'says', so we'll have a longer version, although the page makes clear there are far longer ones out there;
Going to the fair;
Says Simple Simon to the pieman,
”Let me taste your ware.”
Says the pieman to Simple Simon,
Show me first your penny;
Says Simple Simon to the pieman,
”Indeed I have not any.”
Simple Simon went a-fishing,
For to catch a whale;
All the water he had got,
Was in his mother's pail.
Simple Simon went to look
If plums grew on a thistle;
He pricked his fingers very much,
Which made poor Simon whistle.
He went for water in a sieve
But soon it all fell through
And now poor Simple Simon
Bids you all adieu!
Another bunch tomorrow!
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