About Me

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No Fixed Abode, Home Counties, United Kingdom
I’m a 60-year-old Aspergic gardening CAD-Monkey. Sardonic, cynical and with the political leanings of a social reformer, I’m also a toy and model figure collector, particularly interested in the history of plastics and plastic toys. Other interests are history, current affairs, modern art, and architecture, gardening and natural history. I love plain chocolate, fireworks and trees, but I don’t hug them, I do hug kittens. I hate ignorance, when it can be avoided, so I hate the 'educational' establishment and pity the millions they’ve failed with teaching-to-test and rote 'learning' and I hate the short-sighted stupidity of the entire ruling/industrial elite, with their planet destroying fascism and added “buy-one-get-one-free”. Likewise, I also have no time for fools and little time for the false crap we're all supposed to pretend we haven't noticed, or the games we're supposed to play. I will 'bite the hand that feeds', to remind it why it feeds.

Monday, August 23, 2010

The Tale of Bilbo the Rabbit

Once upon a time there was a Rabbit, called Bilbo, who found himself billeted on the big house at the end of the village,

now; it happened that Bilbo was accustomed to traveling light, and had therefore only two thirds of his house with him when he arrived! However the gardener knew where he could lay his hands on the base of a bed from a certain Scandinavian furniture manufacturer, and grabbing a wine-crate in passing along with a piece of roofing-felt, had - within the hour - produced a suite of rooms which adequately met Bilbo's not-so-great expectations.

Bilbo moved in immediately, and soon discovered that his arrival led to some excitement among the junior members of the local populace who quickly had him drowning in carrots, dandy-lion and lettuce leaves, crab-apples and all manner of Rabbit-fare!

Here we see Bilbo working his way through a pile of lush greenery, it's an arduous life; being a 'kept' Rabbit!

Unfortunately, a certain Sandy-Whiskered Gentleman had got wind of the new resident, and thought to have a close chat with him, about this and that, mostly about red-currant jelly, and decided that through the wire was not as close a chat as you could have if - for instance - you were to get under the wire...

It has to be said, that much as Bilbo liked his rooms, he preferred not to bothered by unannounced guests, especially at 3 o'clock in the morning, digging! So alternative non-daylight hours accommodation had to be provided at rather short notice. So thanks indeed to Messrs. Fortnam and Mason for the wicker hut in which Bilbo now resides after-dark, in the wood shed!

Here we see Bilbo licking logs, he likes licking logs, he also likes licking hands, sleeves, the outside of his water-bottle, noses...in short; he'll lick anything within reach!

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