L is for Last One For Now!

 I know it's not everyone's cup-of-tea, but I find this stuff fascinating, and there's plenty still in the queue, both from Alderney and closer to home, but this is the final part of the recent visit to Hazeley Heath and the cable-testing station of the Royal Engineers and their antecedents.

This is the building or structure the winding mechanism/s was/were housed in, it was far more substantial, but all the reclaimable steel and reusable elements are long-gone now, leaving the two outer walls, some floor mounting stuff and a protective plate.

 

There's enough roadway in front of the structure for flat-towing tests, as well as the extreme tests allowed for by dragging things up the ramp we looked at last time! The top of the ramp is in the far distance in both shots, in-line with the structure and roadway.

 

This was apparently the mounting for the main winch/winding engine, presumably bolted to the two rails with a drip-tray between them to collect all the gunk which tends to find its way out of such machinery!

 

Beyond it is what looks like an inspection-pit, all filled in, but the blurb suggests another machine mounting, so I assume someone has dug it and found it to be not deep-enough for inspecting things?

In front of them is this, which probably mounted a pulley to carry the cable a bit higher over to the ramp, where a similar pulley, and its mounting have long-since been removed.  Also, there may be a secondary function of preventing whip-lashing broken-cables from damaging the machinery?

 

Heavy steel RSJ remnants hint at a heavy-duty, or over-engineered roof/shelter, designed again, or primarily, to protect the machinery and operators/observers from snapping cables, rather than enemy action, having been probably build long before the Second World War?

 

I gave them a quick tug, and they are set-fast in the landscape, whether they are old telephone cables or the old three-phase power-supply . . . Your guess is as good as mine!

 

I either read somewhere, or heard as hearsay from some MOD-procurement chaps or BAE Systems bod's, that how it works with these things, is that you decide you want a 50-ton main battle tank, for instance, you give the job to Vickers Engineering, and if you’re happy with the prototypes, order, say 250, with ten driver-training versions, plus a number of recovery variants . . . and cables (etcetera!).

Those cables then get rated at 55-tons, by the Royal Armoured Corps, who will have to use them, the MOD-wallah's up in Whitehall, agree to 55, and add another 5-ton rating to be safe, that gets sent to Vickers, who tender-out the contract, because they've now got 260 tanks to build and some recovery vehicles to design, and can't be arsed to start twisting wire hawsers! They add 5-tons capacity to the contract!

GKN take the wire twisting gig, and add an extra 5-tons 'just to be safe', before their hawser and cable division plait another few tones of capability into the finished cables! You end up with a steel-rope, which is specifically designed to be carried by 50-ton vehicles, but which can recover 70-ton vehicles from sticky mud! All that early work seems to have been done behind a little village in rural Hampshire, in the 1930's and 1940's!

B is for Brain Fog

As I said the other day, we used to play out on the heath, all day! Mum would fill our water-bottles with orange squash, I had Dad's old Palestine one, with the tan, strappy-cage holder, and my brother had the green US Vietnam one with the two poppers at the neck (the SAS used them in the jungle), and a couple of cold sausage sandwiches, and we'd go off and play 'Army men' all day, ranging for miles and sometimes meeting other kids, sometimes having a 1000-acres to ourselves, if we avoided the Gypsy camps!

One of my childhood memories was finding a tank-testing inclined ramp, in fact, I remember two, side by side, about 30º and 40º each, but what has now been opened-up and left on display, is A) nothing like my memory, and B) somewhere else!

And while it may be that the others are somewhere else, on the more private land a few-hundred yards to the east, hidden in the undergrowth, I suspect that my memory of this (below) has become conflated with various pictures of similar ramps in tank or AFV books?

What is there now is more of an architectural channel, with various features and a steepness of around 45º, rather than the two flat roadways I remember? It could be slightly shallower, but as we'll see in a second, I don't think so, if it is, it's no less than 40º.

 

There is a bog at the bottom, now, it's ironic, but you wouldn't build a military testing facility in a bog, near a bog, if you are testing towing (as they were, according to the historians who've done the blurb on the info-sign), maybe, but not 'in' a bog, so the fact that there is a bog there now, or that a nearby bog has extended back to the ramp, is almost certainly an unforeseen consequence of building a ramp there in the first place, and channelling a lot of water straight down the hill!

 

There are signs of a metal slider type thing running along the tops of the two raised 'rails', obviously someone back in the 1950/60's removed the bulk of the metalwork for scrap (probably the Gypseys?), but they cut either side of the sections anchored into the concrete. And you can see, if I'm standing vaguely level, and holding the camera naturally, it's about 45º

Here's one that has been pulled out, or weathered-out at some point, so you can get some idea of how deep the anchors went, it's filled with dirt now, mostly sandy, so weathered concreate running down the slope and filling any holes it finds!

This was lying in the channel where some kids probably pulled it out of the bog, or found it in the undergrowth, it's a solid chink of steel with a blunt-point at one end and might be another kind of anchor, for either the hawsers under test, or the test weights/vehicles?

Life will find a way, and eventually even the pyramids will be no more.

In the central grove are these equidistant holes, which I suspect formed a ladder of scaffold-sized bars, which might have made climbing up or down the ramp more easy, or may have been for fixing anchors or stops to prevent the test-item running back down the ramp uncontrollably if/when the hawser failed?

T is for Tank Tracks

I popped over to the BMSS show on Saturday to pick up a few things including a tub of bits for the Blog from Adrian, two days after a brilliant parcel from Chris Smith dropped-in, so lots in the queue, and I've been bumped into looking out all the Motorcycle stuff for a round-up or two!

 

Coming on the heels of the dragons teeth post, and on the way back from Reading, I thought I'd stop on Hazeley Heath and look at the tracks they dug out of the undergrowth/bog a few years ago, we used to play around there as kids, but it's changed a great deal, and memory failed me at one point, but they are subsequent posts, this is the tracks!

 

Apparently the above is Valentine Tank track, the area was used to test towing cables by the REME, previously probably the Ordnance Corps, or an offshoot of the Royal Engineers MVEE testing facilities at Deepcut/Chobham, up the road (A3), or the vehicle testing site at Rushmoor, across the way, between Fleet and Aldershot?

While this hasn't been ID'd, but I think it's a Vickers Medium Mk.1's tracks from the 1920's, also used on early Mk.2's before the ones with the plates that have a double-cross cut in them, was used. The site was in use for testing, since before the First World War, so interwar track is quite possible. It's so heavy and so rusted, I couldn't lift it to see the underside of even one link.

 

The information board is also tracked, and while seemingly cobbled together from recovered parts (there was half a Sherman turret sticking out of the bog at one point), with [possibly!] three Churchill road wheels and two Valentine return rollers?

 

But the tracks are very thin, they almost look imaginary, however, up close, have both age and casting marks, so a small carrier or one of the late 1930's cruisers? Obviously, the diamond-plate fabricated 'hull' is a modern fancy.

P is for Probably the Best Car-Park Barrier in the World!

Heineken don't do car-park barriers, but if they did . . . I know, we've had something similar before, but nostalgia includes crappy cultural references! I shot this, also in Guildford (see earlier post on dragon's teeth), but a few weeks earlier, only for the shots to turn out so poor (I tend to pass it at dusk each time), I had to go back and re-shoot most of it, a week later!

 

It's a train! About half-action-man scale, so 1:12th/16th, something like that? And it's towing a bunch of flatcars with local wildlife examples! Made out of stainless-steel plate or possibly a bronze-alloy, it's hard to tell as there's no rust, and I'm not a metallurgist!

 

Saddle-tank loco and four flats with an old style guards break-van at the back, I guess this is a sculpture, or 'public art'? I couldn't fine anything about it nearby, but it was getting dark both times, and it's a teeny car-park with about 15 spaces for dog-walkers at the far-end of the now one-way Woodbridge Meadows, and this barrier is almost underneath the real rail-bridge!

 

LBSC 105 is the Fat Controller's locomotive from Thomas the Tank Engine, but it's a red-oxide, not green! The LSWR Bison class had a 105, likewise the class 395's, but they didn't look like this, however the M7's did! So I guess it's a real loco' depiction?

https://www.brdatabase.info/locoqry.php?action=locodata&id=304453077&type=S&loco=105

The break-van, children of a certain age know these go at the back of a goods train, as sure as similarly aged American and Canadian kids know where the Caboose goes, but I wonder how many people under forty even know what this is called, let alone where it goes?

 

The reverse of the goods wagons, showing how the wildlife is done like theatrical scenery! Now, you can get phosphor-bronze sheet-plate, and I wonder if that is what we have here, it looks a bit brassy, but without the verdigris you'd expect with a purer brass or copper, and I've mentioned the lack of rust spots, which even stainless will get eventually, so it's some corrosion-resistant metal, which is also pretty vandal-proof?

Snail, Grebe (crested, great), Dragonfly and Kingfisher.

Fish, Newt (crested, great!) and Otter.

Coot, or Moorhen, I never get them two right!

Bumble Bee and Snake, generic!

Butterfly, Bat, Water Beetle (vicious buggers) and a Water Rat/Vole

I like that even as our entire political class descends into a naval-gazing madness of seeking power for power's sake with absolutely no solutions on offer, someone somewhere is still doing this kind of stuff, for the hell of it!

D is for Defence Works & Dragons Teeth!

I shot these the other evening in Guildford. When I was going to collage there in the 1980's they were hidden in the undergrowth either side of the old sort-cut path, but, in the 1980's the population of the UK was half what it is now, and the necessary development which has filled the years between has lead to them being revealed, as more formal paths were arranged through them, and in 1998 they are formally recognised with a plaque (bolted to one of them) and are watched-over of not actually looked after! They are yards from the London Road railway station in the centre of town.

One or two are still overgrown in the background, and a better-surviving example was seen here on Small Scale World, many years ago, about a mile to the south, which would all have been part of the same defence plan - to prevent German invasion forces coming up from the South East corner of Britain, getting though the Downs at the  'Golden Ford' and having a clear-run across Surrey Heath toward London.

 

When you realise how many gargantuan flack-towers (Flaktürme) are still blotting the landscape around Germany and Austria, a few Dragoons teeth look quite innocuous! These, unlike the ones down by the river, don't seem to have any pattern to them and may have been individually cast on a Monday morning, or Friday night?!! Built by 578 Army Field Company of the Royal Engineers in February 1942 . . . a bit late really!

F is for Follow-up - 'Street Furniture'

I should have posted this ages ago, and I've probably opened the file, or scrolled past/through it in Picasa dozens of times, but it is a fact that of the 7, 8, probably 900-odd folders in the long queue, I do have a tendency to faff, to procrastinate or to find some subconscious fault that keeps whatever it is, in the queue, rather than getting it on the Blog!

 

Anyway here it is, and it's not a follow-up to the dinosaurs the other day, but to whatever I posted last time, which was I think the previous summer's Fleet 'thing' posted late, and was spotted in the wild, the other side of the pond by Brian Berke. And at some personal risk to himself, as Hippo's kill more humans than any other animals, every year (except Man, of course), but this one looks pretty harmless!

Heehee! Isn't it brilliant! It's a plastic figure, guys & girls, if you collect Marx Disney or Cherilea Diddy Men, you can't get sniffy about a seven-foot hippo in a tutu! Very atmospheric photographs as well. If I had a tenth, nay, a hundredth of Elon Musk's money I'd have this stuff, and the dino's and the nutcrackers, and the giraffes all over my estate! Cheer Brian, sorry it took so long to post!

F is for Fleet Fell Flat!

Like Never Before!

This summer just past's hook for getting people up the High Street during the quiet month of August was very disappointing compared to previous years, and the reason seemed to be corporate laziness, relying on 'the Internet' to make the job easy?

Instead of a search for ten dinosaurs, ticking them off in your little guide-book/leaflet thing, as was the case in previous years, there were only three dinosaur models, some interactive crap, a post-box for a colouring competition (but no colouring sheets!) and a complete lack of interest in the task at hand, from Fleet BID, some retailer-funded marketing gimmick, like the old trade associations, or chamber's of commerce, but with money-grubbing Tory dogma written all over it!

You get the same problem everywhere now, we saw it here with the party covering the World's Apart - Horrible Histories figures a few years ago, young things, full of enthusiasm (and a still wet degree in marketing) on the phone, or in eMails, but with no knowledge or love of the product, losing interest and giving-up far too soon, because it’s not their product, it's not their problem and it's not their money . . .whack an invoice in, for services-rendered, and move on!

The annoyance was that everyone, including me, was still going to the council box-office to ask about the flyer, they said "We haven't got any this year, try the Library?", as it happens the library is next door, so off to them, they say "We've had loads of people asking, but we've been given no literature this year, and there's nothing on the website! But someone yesterday said there's something in the photographic shop?".

Then off to Kevin Wibbly (I think he's called, the only hint of 'community' I have - in this Stepford dormitory - is half-knowing the name of the owner of the photographic shop!) we go, where his assistant points out that yes, they do have an unhelpful flyer in the door-glass, but she knows nothing, and has been sending everyone who asks, up to the Library!

At this point, you can lose the will to live, but my life at the moment is the odd minutes of panic and a few hours of worry interspersed with a lot of spare-time, and this was that afternoon, where an answer would be found!

First thing to do was head on to the 'Glass Menagerie' as Mum's generation call it, our itty-bitty excuse for a mall, where there is usually one of the model dinosaurs/wild animals/nutcrackers situated, only to find that the station is unmanned, and there are no flyers, no colouring sheets and no model dinosaur, just an enlarged version of the window flyer!

So . . . off to the internet, ladies and gentlemen, off to get to the bottom of this phuqfest of ineptitude!

Opposite the Library, it was the Velociraptor which alerted me to the fact that this summers 'retail event' had started. It was a very good model, reflecting the very latest thinking on feathered dinosaurs, as is currently coming from the finds, out of the smooth sedimentary beds in the Gobi Desert.

Call Me Karen!

So, I found the Fleet BID Faceplant page, and the following exchange took place;

Me - So, I asked for the dinosaur map/leaflet at the Harlington Centre, they sent me to the Library, the Library had had dozens of enquiries but no promotional paperwork, then someone suggested Kevin Wibbly at the camera shop, his assistant has had to turn away six people today, and they got their poster late! Where are the dinosaurs, where is the map, where are the painting things, why do you need a QR-code reader (not everyone has a bloody i-phone) and what's going on? Get leaflets to the library! Get leaflets somewhere, anywhere, there are none with the picture post box in the shopping centre, nor is there a dinosaur? Get a grip . . . thank god it's gullible traders' money, not taxpayers!

Fleet Bid Spokesperson - There are four elements to this summer's activities which are all detailed on our website: [link] The colouring sheets can be downloaded from this webpage. The shopping centre have some and we will also be delivering some to cafes etc who have spare space to display them this afternoon.

There isn't a trail booklet as the Augmented Reality trail is QR-code based so does require a phone with the ability to scan a QR code. The ten locations are detailed on our website with a map and by scanning one of the locations this opens up the entire trail. The trail posters were delivered to businesses on 29th July.

There are 3 large selfie dinosaurs (at Pedal Heaven, by Sainsbury's and by [redacted to prevent publicity - tossers]) - again these are listed on the website. These were meant to have signs which explained the trail but unfortunately we only received the signs this morning.

There will be a dinosaur show on the weekend of 19th and 20th August with more details to be shared once we've finalised show timings.

Me - There were no colouring sheets in the precinct at 16:50 yesterday, but that aside, you have established a pattern over a half-dozen animal-dinosaur-nutcracker things, and now you've totally broken it in favour of the posh Miranda's of the Blue Triangle, at a time when money's tight for everyone, and you haven't kept the participating locations up to date . . . there are dozens of people, every day for at least a week, already, going to the Library, going to the Photo' shop wanting to know A) where are the ten dinosaurs (there are only three?), where are the maps (there isn't one?) and where are the colouring sheets?!! Not everyone has a printer, not everyone has a QR Code reader, you're supposed to be encouraging people to come to Fleet, not alienate them!

Fleet Bid Spokeperson - More colouring sheets are being dropped off this afternoon. We have chosen to do something different this year with four elements rather than just one. We have dinosaur shows happening on 19th and 20th August as well as the AR trail and 3 large dinosaurs for selfies. This information has been published and these locations have been kept up to date and published on our website since the end of July. All of this is available free of charge to people visiting Fleet. We are sorry if you feel that this is not what you would like to see, but we hope by doing more things that are free and incorporating the interactive AR element that families would enjoy something different and have more activity to keep people entertained over the summer holidays.

I can't remember if this was a 'Dippy' or a Bronty (I think it says Brontosuarus?), but it was a bit cartoony compared to the other two, and much smaller, in scale, maybe a baby! Also, I thought it was a bit pink and mammalian . . . Hippogriff!

Conclusion

Now, aside from the fact that I'm clearly turning into a grumpy-old-git in my dotage (a left-wing one, I hasten to add!), and allowing for the fact that my interaction did result in some quick updates to both the BID's and the Council's Faceplant pages, and hoping the colouring sheets were delivered (I wasn't after one!), I think you can see where the problems are, it's all-singing-all-dancing tech'y bollocks for people with the right kind of 'smart' 'phone, time to be where they need to be, at the times they need to be there, and therefore suffering under the twin burdens of spare leisure time and disposable wealth, i.e., the 'trophy wives' of the Blue Triangle and the larger town-houses of Elvetham!

The BID spokesperson sticking to the scrip and not really realising how they have broken a contract, established by repeat actions over several years, and somehow thinking that for five- or ten-year olds, three dinosaurs in plain site, is in some way equitable with ten you have to go search for, with a MAP!

Our civilisation is falling apart, through the thoughtlessness, selfishness and lack of imagination of the establishment, unquestioned and not countered by the complacency of the citizens. And it was clearly going-off half-cocked, with elements not in place, late, you have eight months to get ready and . . . ! Phuq!

 

By far the nicest of the three, ONLY three, was this rather fine Triceratops, with a metallic, rainbow-sheen on it, like oil on water!

 

All this saddens me, as how do you get people back to your retail hubs, when you water-down the very idea you have been establishing over the previous few years, to attract people? And no sign of a Christmas campaign yet?

 

And, good retailers of Fleet, if you are subscribing to BID, can I suggest that if you spend the money on Sainsbury's excellent generic four-packs of mince-pies instead, and offer one for every purchase over £5, you will probably have a better effect on your footfall, than BID's shenanigans is going to deliver in a month of Sundays!

 

I must check the Library for their seasonal toy exhibition, that can always be counted on! Underfunded, and mostly volunteer staffed, what would we do without them? And the Tories have closed 800+ in the last 14-years.