N is for Nuts!

While sorting out the house over the last few years, various things came to light which had long been forgotten, among which was this childhood stash of paperback-format bound volumes of Peanuts cartoons by Charles M. Schulz.

 

And then I found another one!

 

We were early fans of Snoopy and Co., and it was always Snoopy, it was Adults who thought of Charlie Brown first, because he represented the trails, tribulations and failures of adulthood, Snoopy was just a funny dog who thought he was a WWI fighter pilot and talked to yellow chicks, who coded back in scratch marks!

 

My brother and I had a shared bedroom until I was sixteen, and when we were little, there were loads of snoopy posters on the walls, similar to these book covers, a single image and some pithy aphorism about not liking Mondays (a decade before the Boomtown Rats), or something. Except they weren't actually glossy coated posters, they were matted wrapping paper!

 

I can't remember where we got them, but I guess it was WHSmith, in Fleet, or maybe Webb's, in Hartley Wintney, folded-over their wooden bars, you'd keep an eye out for a new colour, as like the book-covers they were single-colour sheets with a black-on-white snoopy, the paper an off-white, and about the same paper grade of brown parcel-paper, which they were near. I guess the idea was you used a whole sheet on a big-box gift, and the unwrapper got a cartoon! And, or course, they were much cheaper than the posters from the wire racks!

 

I seem to recall, Coronet, the publishers, also supplied a fair-few of my sci-fi novels a few years later! 

 

I also found these! Because we spent all our holidays running about on Hazeley Heath, climbing trees, shooting at each other with airguns (nope, we've still both got two working eyes!), from the tree-house or similar shenanigans, we tended to wreak havoc on our trousers (jeans or cords), and Mum would cover the holes (knees or bums!) with these patches, to give them a little more life. There were others, some more 'hippy' and I found a bunch of them too, they'll be a future post!

BMSS is for British Model Soldier Show!

As I mentioned earlier, I popped-over to the BMSS (Society!) show in Reading on Saturday, for support really, I wasn't buying, and while I got there a bit late, the entry-fee was collected against future show organising, and I took a few shots of the competition entries while I was there.

Junior effort, I couldn't have done something this good at 9

I know, because I tried!

Old School!

This was beautiful!

Fantasy, winged witches!

Beautifully executed fun!

Tommy Atkins, 'Dusty' Miller and 'Snowy' White!

These might be Airfix Multipose?

Cold! General Winter!

Northamptonshire's BMSS branch table.

 

Aldershot's table, I think there had been a modelling/painting display, but it was getting toward home-time. They used to organise their own show, in February, but it went the way of all flesh some time ago, one of my first big-purchases was from that show back in 1991 when it was still held in Fleet Library, or the adjoining Hartington centre, if I recall correctly?

You wouldn't want it up you, Captain Mainwaring!

You really wouldn't want it up you!

The Oxford branch, I was tickled by the St Trinian's flats

I can't find them on Google, but definitely fun!

Despite knowing Reading all my life, and managing to find the venue (and a free, legal car parking space) without trouble, I managed to take the wrong exit off the roundabout, going home, and got lost in a town-centre I no longer recognise, before taking the wrong road out of town (Early/Mortimer, not Swallowfield/Heckfield!), a road I also barely recognised!

The amount of development, in just the last fifteen or twenty years is staggering, the flight of industry, the population explosion (nationwide - 10-million, since the Tories came to power, most of it 'legal' migration), makes you realise how insignificant your 60/80-years here, actually are. When I was born in '64, Reading was already in the midst of a major post-war development boom, with new factories springing-up everywhere, but they've all gone, replaced by housing, and the centre has been rebuilt three-times?

Yet, once you get out of the city-proper, the old lanes have hardly changed at all in my whole lifetime, the same daftly tight-bends, narrow passing and overhanging foliage seem timeless, as you pootle through the old villages and hamlets, but a lot of the pubs are boarded-up or already converted to homes, as are most of the village shops!

The point this slightly-sad reminiscing is getting to, is that the show is best described as quiet, gentile, unhurried, and one wonders how many more there may be, from the heady days of filling the Royal National, so next year, try to get over if you missed it this year, like parents, pets or a favourite T-shirt (yes, I just listed them together!), you'll miss it when it's gone.

P is for Pure Nostalgia!

MFP - Music For Pleasure, a British 'K-Tel', There's lots about both on Wikipedia, so I won't bore you with it, but it's interesting. We loved this, played it all the time! I don't know how it ended-up at our house, possibly Woman's Hour on Radio4 had something to do with it? All instrumentals, some originally having lyrics, and all pop-hits in the early 1970's.

I thought Telstar was on here as well, but I can't see it listed, so there may have been another 'Moog' album! We were quite late to pop/rock, living our early lives mostly outdoors, or, if it was wet (and it was 2024-style wet for years when we were kids!) it was Lego, the wooden fort or Action Man, with the odd dodgy foray into the chemistry sets - which invariably involved setting our work-table on fire . . . Methylated spirts, it's almost magic!

Anyway, as a result this was pretty-much what we got until we were old enough to buy our own, which for me was Blondie's Heart of Glass as a first single, followed by No Mean City by Nazareth as my first album, quickly joined by two space themed orchestral works off the back of Star Wars, then several more Nazareth albums and three from Tangerine Dream, I'm sure the Moog led me to Tangerine Dream, but it wasn't until the advent of Trance-Techno, that the sound I wanted to accompany mile-long starships, failing in C-beams off the Shoulders of Orion, finally arrived. 

 

Obviously by then Jean-Michel Jarre, Vangelis, Peter Gabriel, Mike Oldfield and Aphrodite's Child had joined the soundtrack, but that's for another day. However, I can't leave you with an album still, so make what you will of this! I'm not sure what I make of it, I'm pretty sure no one does, but the 1970's were a different planet! Watch the backgrounds, especially the Hooded Swan at the start!

I get sad watching this stuff, not because I'm some populist, flag-shagging, Trumpundbrexit Boris-hugger wanting to go back to some sunlit upland of chocolate rationing and beating your wife with impunity, but because we had such high-hopes then, for a magic, happy, space-age future, and what we've got is closer to the grey dystopia of Metropolis.

And I guess that's the point of nostalgia, it's got some poignancy attached to it, it's not necessarily a happy thing?

T is for That Was My Idea, That Was!

Except it was Vic Reeves! And these aren't his at all! Something a little different tonight, these are my Lego improvement ideas, and they fall into two groups, those I sent to Lego back in the 1990's (before I knew they were the Evil Empire!), and those I probably didn't!

 

Sent to Lego

 

I can't now remember if it was before or after they had released their own footballer sets, I have a feeling it was after, they weren't very good in my opinion, and while I'm not saying mine were better, I was aiming for something more in line with the rest of the range, i.e. a carpet-play thing, more compatible with all the other Lego 'elements', as we are supposed to call a pile of Lego these days!

 

The most obvious difference was the attempt to make them look more like footballers in shorts & shirt-sleeves! And once I was looking at their sets and giving the whole thing some thought, the ball was obvious, as was a simple goal, using their own element rules, with the ball having their click-holes, so it could be used with other things in other colours, space sets, or ships mast radar-domes, while the goal is a glorified development of the fence/crash-barrier or roll-bar, both elements which had been around for years.

 

Further musings! I also thought a normal green baseboard (obviously in scaled-down pitch dimensions), overprinted with white lines, would be far better than the strange green chunks of their system (so it must have been after?), and while I provided alternate cross-sections for the bare arms/legs, the intention was to have them as the standard Lego 'rod' thickness, so they could grab each other in the goalmouth for a foul!

No, I'm joking, I was already, as with the ball, thinking ahead to circus clowns or acrobats, who would be able to grab each other's arms or legs, with their Lego hands (already set for the standard rod dimension), to build human pyramids or do tricks or something . . . they've never done Circus? They've never done a marching band?

 

My second idea, was so obvious I don't know why they've never done it, especially in the larger Primo or Duplo sizes. Alphabet or early-leading blocks, I mean, why the hell hadn't they done something so obvious? I sent these to them 25/30 years ago? And yet, as far as I know, they STILL haven't done them, or anything like them, despite the old printed bricks being among the better sellers in the vintage sets, we had it; HOTEL, GARAGE, TAXI . . . I can't remember the other two, you could light them from behind!

 

While my third suggestion was more of an exercise in getting studs onto the Insectoid wings, so more stuff could be attached to them. The actual range had transparent aqua-blue wings with few or no studs and a sort of printed-circuit design, and I just thought if they were studded, they could be given more robot 'stuff', like modern jets, or Stukas!

Probably not sent to Lego

I always thought the medieval range/Robin Hood sets could benefit from better detailing, and these are a few ideas along those lines. Mega Bloks already had sculpted-side elements in their range (as I was working on these), and the louvred-side 2x1 brick was eventually copied by Lego (slightly differently), but think how much better the current awful-AFOL architecture sets would be, or the Harry Potter sets, with better stone-mouldings?

 

I think they've done a hat like that now, the number of blind bag figures over the last decade and a half has produced all sorts of clothing and accessory elements, while the scarf was basically a variation of their own life-jacket, but the main idea was a single ski, and it's applications, they only do a sort of double thing which is unrealistically short?

 

Almost certainly not sent to Lego

 

A few more bits of medieval architecture, but I glued in an idea I literally had on the back of an envelope! Up until the 1990's, propellers in Legoland were pretty basic, there was a 2x3 tile with spigot for helicopters, or a 2x2 tile with a blunt-squared pointy bit at 90-degrees, and spigot for aeroplane wings, and a later, third version with an actual, small, grey propeller, rather than the studded-planks which had always been attached to the older two.

 

Now, at the time I was buying a lot of Lego from Car Boot sales, and damaged elements, after cleaning, would be cut, trimmed, shaved or melted back to a usefully usable 'new' or unique element, and this started life - I think - as the upper torso of an early Duplo figure.

I was trying to get it so that it would make a perfect, if generic, propeller for single seat planes like Spitfires or Cessnas! Or you could have four of them for a Fortress or Lancaster! Now - of course - they probably have much better propellers, and companies like Cobi and Airfix (Quickbuild) are making better Lego-compatible 'planes!

The bulk of the Lego went to 'Timpo' Dave in 2006/7? While the rest went to Johnny G's kids over a number of Christmases, all scrupulously split equally! And somewhere I have a nice "Thank you, but no-thanks' letter from some woman in Bilund . . . but they never sent the drawings back . . . dun, dun, DUN!

A is for Ashes-to-Ashes, Dust-to-Dust . . . errr . . . Books to Compost

As some of the more loyal readers, or even just regular readers - my 'eemies' are here most days! - may have gathered, a few years ago now, I got the storage stuff out of storage and put it in the garage, it was rather at my Mother's insistence, for valid financial reasons (it was my money not hers), but it wasn't a brilliant idea.

 

It rained just after we'd unloaded the last van, but I'd managed to get a handful of tarpaulin's from the magic, wonderful, now, covid-gone Baker's in town, just before the heavens opened, so everything was saved that first night, but it became obvious that the Jenga pile on the drive was never going to fit, and over the next few weeks a lot of the metal furniture and filing cabinets went to a passing scrap-merchant, and over that winter most of the wooden stuff was burnt . . . heay, it kept us warm!

But a bunch of 94-litre Really Useful Boxes ended-up under tarp's for a few years, with some cardboard boxes on top, two of which suffered water ingress, resulting in the loss of most of my bedding and most of my coat-hangers! But, on the bottom, one of the Really Useful Boxes had a crack in the base!

Here on the left is the offending box, the two contained the bulk of my Sci-Fi papaerbacks, and luckily the one on the left also had a large, old-fashined sweet-jar, filled with marbles, and a glass flagon type thing filled with glass-beads (which I think they use on the roads, for reflective paint), and can just be seen behind the two obviously shot Bradbury's, the two jars reflected light nicely, and were heavy enough to act as bookends. I should add, for context, that I let the hardbacks go years ago.

 

The box on the right is fine, and now cleaned-up, resides back in - even more expensive - storage, waiting for this minor nightmare, which I certainly didn't think would last three years and see the passing of not just my Mother, but both cats, to end. And the box seems to include or go from F-Z?

But . . . that leaves Aldiss, Anderson, Asimov, Ballard, Bliss, Bova, and the penmanship of Aurther C Clerke, as well as Deleny, among others, now (or. 'then', this was the summer of '22), as a solid mass of damp pulp, half of which had already been converted to a fine mahogany slime, by snails, worms and woodlice!

 

It was, in its entirety, spread along the hedge-line at the bottom of the garden, where its remnants have now had two years-worth of leaves and garden-clippings, dumped on top, and I doubt you can read a word of the tens of millions in that box now. Even the wipeable foil-coatings on a lot of modern books are only cellulose, so apart from a slight rainbow-shimmer when first dug-over, you will never know the greatest works of Sci-Fi were left there to die, along with some space-opera trash!

 

The jar of marbles is under what was once the boxed-set of Herbert's Dune trilogy, he missed the saviour box, despite his surname, by having a bulky outer . . . a lesson there for all of us - eat less, exercise more!

However, I can report that the Library has started clearing out it's old novels, and they appear to be doing so alphabetically, consequently I have started to replace the missing chunk of my library, under the confidence that even if I've read them, anything authored by a before-F is 'new' to shelf . . . when/if they finally have a shelf again!

 

Do not mourn my misfortune, or, if one of my 'eemies'; do not celebrate it. Firstly I had half an idea things were not good in that box, and probably could have saved the top layer if I'd acted earlier, and second, nothing lasts forever, everything dies, whole galaxies with a billion stars each, crash-into each other, ripping their very atoms apart, and starting again with a big cloud of coalescing gas.

 

You are only remembered while people still alive, remember you, once the last of them has gone, you have gone too. Whole civilisations disappear with little to remember them, the city's of Mohenjo Daro and the 'Indus Valley' culture - millions of people over hundreds of years - all gone, leaving so few clues as to their coming, or going, we are at a loss to explain them, or their end!

 

Ohhhh, you may survive as a statistic for another century or two, on a list, as someone who served, someone who received benefits, someone who held a licence of some sort, someone who paid bills, or, if you get your fizzog in the local paper, you may live-on for another century or two as a microfiche thumbnail a few millimetres square, but ultimately everything dies, including your favourite books!

 

I had, after all, already read them, some more than once, or I wouldn't be the fusty, anti-establishment cynic I am, so they had done their job, while I was still a teenager.