P is for the Planet's Bankrupt, Great!

Did anyone else catch 'This Week' tonight? They had a piece on the new bank saving package with Will Hutton, it was quite riveting, the size of the problem is almost unbelievable, like giving serious thought to comprehension of the vastness of the universe.

I will try to explain...The 'bad debt' owed (owned) by the UK's banks is greater than the national GDP (Gross Domestic Product), I think we had all got that, but it is 550% bigger! Assuming that banking started to run - from tomorrow - on an even keel, indefinitely, it would take 550 years at today's prices to pay it off.

Or that's how I understand it. Now the HOPE (and it's our politicians and bankers who have their fingers crossed and are doing the hoping!) is that some of the debt will 'come good' [reducing the bill a bit], that the economy will pick up [further reducing the total] AND that earnings will eventually rise again, allowing the government to raise tax and pay off the bill a bit quicker, AND perhaps loose some of the debt by hiding it in future credit booms and, and, and....

Now, that was also the hope when we bailed out the banks in October/November, and the fact that we had to bail them out again this week would suggest to any idiot that it didn't work last time...WELL, there's no guarantee it'll work this time either.

The reason no one can say it will work, or come up with a new plan that might 'work' better, is because while we know roughly how big this hole in our bit of the global economy is, none of the long-snouted money-men or pocket lining politico's who got us in this mess will actually put a value on the debt in pounds-shillings-&-pence. Until they do, we can't buy it in (to the bank of England...the Taxpayer), nor can we nationalise the banks (purchaser being...the Taxpayer), all we can do is keep throwing (Taxpayers) money at it.

We have so far thrown the equivalent of three-and-a-half Trillion quid at 'the (unpriced) problem'. This week the people of Iceland - who's government have been throwing relatively similar amounts at their 'problem', decided to throw rotten fish and yoghurt at the parliament building! But one has to ask what a country with a population smaller than that of Coventry was doing getting into international banking in the first place? likewise the Republic of Ireland, who's government ministers - so far - have escaped an avalanche of rancid Kerry Gold, only a matter of time now the citizens of Iceland have spoken with such erudition!!

The real 'scary thing' is that these conversations, these desperate money drains, these hopes are being held not just in America, Britain, Ireland and Iceland, but in nearly every nation in the developed world, while the second world starts to suffer, as the three-mile long factories they built to produce the mountains of battery-operated plastic shit we bought with that credit, suddenly find we're not buying it any more.

So, Trailer-park Bob has, by failing to pay for his speedboat, bankrupted the entire planet, not that he's bothered, his clinically obese wife has triple cancer and no access to medical aid of any use, nor money for the drugs suggested by the Medicaid people and he's more worried about who's going to feed the five kids! [Yes, I watched Panorama as well!]

The final irony is not that cynics like me predicted this for decades, but rather that it was all invented/paper/electronic/future money based on hopes, gambles and predictions, it had no gold to back it up and really never existed, however, if the city could 'find its nerve' it would all be back there tomorrow, like it had never been not spent on interest free-for-twelve-months, buy-one-and-get-one-free, unsecured handouts.

To find their nerve, the guys in the city need to know the value of the problem to the nearest hundred million, but because they have lost their nerve, they won't give it a value!

Hold on, I think I hear Yossarian Hughs at the door...

No, it was an old man muttering about rubber boats...Can I humbly suggest that as bin-men do a more useful job than bankers even when the economy is doing well, and - as far as I know - haven't lost their nerve, that we start paying bankers £7.50 per hour and give the bin-men a £250,000 bonus in April.

It would also do more to kick-start the economy than throwing future Taxpayers money (Ultimately, however you slice it, the citizenry will pay to maintain the luxury the fat cats currently enjoy) down a bottomless pit, at least the bin-men will spend it on consumer goods rather than a third flat in Knightsbridge.

If you think this is an arrogant rant, consider that I've just shown I know as much about the problem as the retards in the 'Square mile' or their House of Commons School-chums! Because they don't 'know' anything for sure, all they 'think' is; it's probably never been this bad before, whatever it is, EVER!