C is for Christmas Cracker Cosmonauts

These were first identified in Plastic Warrior magazine a while ago now, with the presentation of the original ad' in a trade publication, I think, there is another one kicking around, but that's for the Thomas (or more likely Poplar ethylene's) spacemen, issued in Tom Smith crackers, if I recall correctly these were in a more generic advertisement, but I've forgotten the issue number!

 

Equally, I can't remember which of these images were taken on Adrian's stall, which came from evilBay and which are mine, and some of Adrian's eventually came home with me, so may have been shot twice!

 

The thing is, they used to share space with the Lido (previous post), although marked-up 'Rex Depose' which I now know they aren't (but I'll put Rex in the Tags, to correct past musings), so they've also been sharing the same folder here since at least 2012, when I started collecting the images for both posts!

 

You can see from the Ajax/Archer type helmet that they are smallish, compared to some of the 'pulp' stuff, but still come-in at a reasonable 54mm each, and sculpted to slide into Christmas crackers, and fly out again without doing themselves, Granny's eyes or the Christmas spread too much damage!

Basically they come in three colours, metallic silver, petrol-blue and jade green'ish, the pink ones here are purely a trick of the light and I can assure you they are as silver as the other two, because two of them ARE the other two, and I just got them out to measure them!

Four poses, two command-types with their legs apart delivering sterling speeches of an ordering-about, sacrifice, for-the-flag/glory/humanity's future variety, and two trooper types, at attention, preparing to eat-dirt - again, on someone else's shitty home-world - again! And like the previous post's Lido Space Rangers, each has a groovy logo on his suit, which is unique to that figure.

This, captured in the wild from feebleBay, is an abomination, and almost certainly started its public life at Vectis Auctions in the North East, where a lot of similar 'carded' stuff has appeared over the last fifteen or twenty-odd years or so, often pretending to be Zang/Herald for Britains half-moon cards. Which isn't necessarily Vectis's fault, they sell what the clients bring them, and they do tend to caveat the listing, to alert, but they must know who keeps turning-up with these Dr. Moreau creations!

 

What we have here, are, top-left and bottom right; Cracker spacemen, in the middle; a Texas/Isas alien, and top-right/bottom-left; the rockets from Triang's Battle Space launcher, which are probably worth more, being sold separately, than on this cobbled-together stale-confection!

So we have two polyethylene & rubber model-train accessories, two polystyrene cracker novelties and an Italian plug-based, 'ethylene toy soldier, the figures material-colour matched, and further given a splash of casually painted (as out-painters would have) silver highlights to further 'unite' them, all on a card which is one of the relatively common cards (see Tags) from Italy, which has had the legend cut-off!

It's a fake, a phony, a curates-egg, designed to deceive, and many of us know who's behind them, but Western law is designed to protect landowners, Politicians, capitalists and yes, liars and fraudsters, from the truth, and if I named him, I'd leave myself open to a charge of defamation! If you bought it, sorry, but you were sold a parvo' pup!

In its natural habitat!